Pan

£9.99

Nicholas is fifteen when he forgets how to breathe. He has plenty of reasons to feel unstable already: he’s been living with his dad in the bleak Chicago suburbs since his Russian-born mum kicked him out. Then one day in geometry class, Nicholas suddenly realises that his hands are objects. The doctor says it’s just panic, but Nicholas suspects that his real problem might not be a psychiatric one: maybe the Greek god Pan is trapped inside his body. As his paradigm for his own consciousness crumbles, Nicholas, his best friend, Ty, and his maybe-girlfriend, Sarah, hunt for answers why – in Oscar Wilde and in Charles Baudelaire, in rock ‘n’ roll and in Bach, and in the mysterious, drugged-out barn where their classmate Tod’s charismatic older brother Ian leads the high schoolers in rituals that might end up breaking more than just the law.

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SKU: 9781529969894 Category: Tag: Publisher/imprint : Vintage
Page count : 336
Published on 23rd July, 2026

Description

A WASHINGTON POST, TIME and SLATE Book of the Year

‘A stunning debut’ GUARDIAN

‘Stylish and unsettling’ OBSERVER

‘A true original’ PAUL MURRAY

‘Brilliant . . . Mind-bending, psychologically intricate, really thrilling’ LAUREN GROFF

‘There is no other writer like him’ MAGGIE NELSON

A strange and brilliant teenager’s first panic attacks lead him down the rabbit hole in this wild, critically acclaimed debut novel about the joy and anxiety of youth by the acclaimed memoirist and cult writer

Nicholas has plenty of reasons to feel unstable. He’s fifteen, the child of divorced parents, living with his mostly absent dad in the bleak Chicago suburbs and an outsider at school. Then, one day, he forgets how to breathe. The doctor says it’s just panic, but Nicholas suspects that his real problem might not be psychiatric: maybe the Greek god Pan is trapped inside his body.

As the paradigm for his own consciousness crumbles, Nicholas and his friends hunt for answers why – in art, music and literature – as they reach for a life beyond the confines of where they’ve grown up and what’s expected of them.

Thrilling, surprising and startlingly funny, Pan takes us inside the human psyche, where we might just discover that the forces controlling our inner lives are more alien than we want to believe.

‘I didn’t want the book to end’ BLAKE BUTLER

‘Tender and searching, an addictive philosophical quest’ CHETNA MAROO

‘I steal language and ideas from Michael Clune’ BEN LERNER

Additional information

Weight 0.5 kg
Dimensions 19.8 × 12.9 × 3.5 cm
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